I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
