I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Randomize
