Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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