You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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