i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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