This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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