No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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