oh god the rape fog is back!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
