Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
