hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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