Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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