I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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