Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
