I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
