Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
