just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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