I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
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