So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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