id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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