I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
