Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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