Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
kristin has been a bad kristin
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
