oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize