Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
