Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
