yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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