I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
