I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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