The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
