Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize