PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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