They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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