1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
