Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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