you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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