Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
