she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
