If that was your dad, he is hot
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
