I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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