What a fucking waste of an outfit
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
