adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i dont even know how to be here
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
