There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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