I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
