Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
