the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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