I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
