I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Two words: nipple clamps
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