Who did Billy Mays play for?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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