I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
