butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
honey bunches of taint.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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