the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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