real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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