He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I stole a fireplace last night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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