I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We named our party play list daddy issues
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize