god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
