So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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