apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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