it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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