my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
